Walk through the fire
by Serenya
Summary: New York wasn't the place he wanted it to be. Thinks refused to get better, in fact they got even worse. Kurt is about to fall when someone he'd never expected to tried to safe him.


**- As we all know, I don't own anything. I would love to, but who wouldn't? ;) -** **Warning: This story contains swearing, sexual abuse, angst, violence and homophobia. ** Kurt Hummel wasn't the boy he used to be when he lived in Lima anymore.

Going to New York had changed him. Having to learn that his life wouldn't become easier in a magical way once he moved into the city of his dreams had changed him. Breaking up with Blaine because the younger boy suffered too much because of the distance most likely had changed him. Part by part he seemed to lose himself. Every bad experience broke another piece of him into fragments. He barely recognized himself anymore. Still, he'd never expected to find himself inside of one of those dark, filthy night bars, sipping on his drink and waiting. Waiting for what? Well, the truth was that Kurt himself didn't really know what he was waiting for. It was just... the need of a change. Another one. Even if everything inside him was screaming that he should move his ass out of this place as soon as possible. That he was about to make a terrible mistake. "You're new here," somebody said right behind him. It was no question, it was a statement. As Kurt turned around his eyes met a pretty young man, slightly older as he was. The guy had light blonde hair and wore a dark green and really tight fitting shirt. "So, since it's your first day, may I buy you a drink, handsome? You know... to say welcome?" "I'm Kurt," Kurt stated with hoarse voice. He hadn't expected to be talked to so soon. "And I'd like a drink, yeah. Thanks." "Pleasure!" The blonde winked and turned towards the barkeeper. "Jerry, hey. I want something special for my guy Kurt, here." The man behind the bar smirked and began to pour different liquids into a cocktail shaker. "My name is Silas, by the way," the blonde introduced himself. Kurt looked away from the cocktail and took in the boy that now sat on a chair next to him instead. "What made you think I'm new, by the way?" Kurt eventually asked. "Well, first of all, I never saw you around before." Silas stroked his bangs out of his forehead. His eyes, that now weren't covered by hair anymore, had an icy blue color. "Secondly, you look pretty innocent, that isn't something very common inside places like this." "Silas?" The barkeeper, Jerry, cut in. "Have you forgotten about the drink?" "Of course not. Thanks Jay!" He grabbed the glass and handed it to Kurt. "Cheers." "What exactly am I drinking here?" Kurt eyed the liquid skeptically. "Jerry is a wizard when it comes to drinks. You can trust me, whatever he mixed for you, it's awesome." Kurt sipped carefully. Silas was right, even if he wasn't able to identify the ingredients it tasted like heaven. They continued chatting for a few minutes, until Kurt noticed that he started to feel strangely lightheaded. His vision got a little blurry. What the hell was happening? He hadn't drunken that much. "Kurt? Are you okay?" Silas' voice seemed to come from far, far away. Something wasn't right here. "Yeah, I... I just have to use the bathroom." Kurt stumbled as he made his way towards the door. He felt really dizzy by now, nausea rushed through him like a giant wave. Kurt grabbed the sink to steady himself and turned on the cold water. He let it flow over his wrists, but it didn't help the tiniest bit. Suddenly there were arms around his body, forcing him to turn around. "S-Silas?" he asked confused. "Shh. Stop talking." "What are y-you doing?" "I'm giving you what you came for." Kurt tried desperately to fight down the blur, but if anything, it became more worse with every second. Silas' face was right in front of his own, so close, too close. "L-leave me al...alone. Silas, I... p-please," he mumbled, trying to push the boy away, but he was too weak. Silas stepped closer, pressing his lips onto Kurt's. "Mhhg!" That wasn't what he wanted, couldn't Silas tell? Why was he kissing him when he was obviously totally wasted? Why were his hands tugging at Kurt's shirt? What was he doing? Kurt continued to push the boy, without any effort. Shit. He was in serious trouble. "Found a new victim, Tanner?" A voice came out of somewhere. It was weirdly familiar, but Kurt couldn't place it. "Too bad you'll never get laid by someone who's clear, hu?" "Shut up!" Silas growled, removing his lips from Kurt's just long enough for the boy to wince. "Help me, please, please help me!" Silas quickly covered his mouth with a hand, but Kurt, who sensed that it was his only chance to escape the situation bit him hard. "Asshole! Don't act like you don't want it." This time, Silas' whole body pressed itself against Kurt, who could feel that the blonde boy was already hard. He started crying silently. "Leave him alone, Tanner," The voice commanded. "Ah, so you can fuck him, now that I made sure he'll not run?" "That's not my standard. Just move your stupid ass away from him." The rest of the conversation rushed by, there were so many words, but Kurt couldn't catch the meaning of a single one of them anymore. He felt sick, he needed to sit down, but Silas hands still kept him upright. Kurt flinched as he heard a sound of something breaking, then suddenly the hands were gone. He slit down, his back against the cold wall. "Are you okay, man?" Steps were coming closer. Kurt tried to focus, but the room started to spin so fast, that he had to squeeze his eyes shut to avoid vomiting. "Wait, _Hummel?_ No way!" were the last words he heard before everything faded to black.

* * *

Kurt didn't recognize anything as he opened his eyes. He was staring against a unfamiliar ceiling, lying on a couch which was certainly not his own. Where the fuck was he? He couldn't remember going here, he... The bar. Silas. God, this must mean that the boy had gotten what he wanted. All of a sudden, the sickness was back again. Kurt tried to get up insecurely, noticing with relieve that he still had his clothes on. Silas certainly hadn't dressed him afterwards, so that meant he was somewhere else. But where? And why? Just as he was about to panic, the door opened and a boy stepped inside the room. "Good to see you awake, Hummel. I was almost worried!" "Sebastian?" This couldn't be real, he must be dreaming... well, hallucinating. Why should he dream about Sebastian Smythe? "The one and only." The hand that reached out to brush his hair out of his face felt real. "How do you feel? You look like you were about to pass out again." "Where am I?" Sebastian smiled kindly – another hint that this wasn't reality. Sebastian Smythe never showed sympathy towards Kurt. "My apartment. After you fainted in the bar, I had to bring you out there anyhow. And since I didn't know where you live, I just took you with me." "Why would you do that?" "A simple 'Thank you' would kill you, hu? I didn't want your sorry ass to get into Silas' hands once more... and trust me, he is not even one of the really bad guys out there." Sebastian got up and left the room, leaving Kurt with more questions than he had answered. But it took him only a minute to return, holding a glass with some clear liquid inside. "Don't worry, it's just water," he explained as he noticed Kurt's expression. "Trust me, you'll feel much better." "Thank you," Kurt said quietly, but honestly. "For everything. If you hadn't... I... he..." "It's okay." "No. Sebastian, I mean it. Thank you." He took a small sip of the water. "Why are you in New York, by the way? Shouldn't you suppress the other Warblers to give every single solo to you?" "I probably would be if I hadn't been a senior last year." Sebastian smirked at Kurt's obvious surprise. He had thought the tall boy had been a junior like Blaine. "And I for myself have to admit that I'm rather surprised to find you in one of those bars. That's not the Kurt Hummel I know." "Yeah. I don't know him myself." Kurt sighed sadly. Sebastian slowly lowered himself onto the bed and searched Kurt's gaze. "What happened to you?" "Life, I guess. Growing up. It sucks, honestly." Kurt's voice was bitter, but he kept his eyes locked with Sebastian's. "That's not growing up. You're broken, Kurt." Broken. Kurt felt the urge to cry, but his eyes were perfectly dry. All the experiences from high school, when he was to proud to show anyone how the bullying affected him, paid off in this moment. His face became a mask and he felt those old walls building up again. Sebastian watched him through the whole transformation. "Kurt..." "You never called me Kurt before," Kurt hissed. "What happened to gay face? Why are you acting nice all of a sudden?" "Because this is more serious than the old fights. Doesn't make us to friends, though." "I know." "Still, I'm sorry to try to get in your boyfriend's pants all the time. It wasn't so much about him at all, I just liked the game and you were a dignified rival." Kurt raised a brow. "Never thought to hear those words out of your mouth. But... Blaine isn't my boyfriend anymore." "You're shitting me!" Sebastian shook his head. "I couldn't manage to break the two of you up, so what could it be?" "Like I said, life." Kurt felt a stitch in his heart. The break up had been two months ago, and even if they'd promised each other to stay good friends, it still hurt a lot. Plus, Kurt was afraid that he tapped into the 'let's stay friends' trap. Blaine rarely talked to him anymore. When Kurt called him, he almost never answered the phone. And by god, he _knew_ Blaine. The boy was addicted to his phone. There was no way he would miss so many calls. He was just so freaking _naive._ "I should go home!" Kurt attempted to climb out of the bed, but Sebastian hold him back by grabbing his arm gently. "Kurt, do you even understand what's going on?" Sebastian's gaze seemed to burn itself into Kurt's eyes. "You were drugged. Silas and Jerry are close friends, so if Silas is screwing around he is always helping him. Like, put some stuff into his drink to make him an easy lay. You still got it in your system. And... you know... He wasn't about to stop after a few kisses. He could have raped you if I hadn't been there accidentally. So tell me what has brought you in such a situation?" "It doesn't matter, okay?" Kurt suddenly yelled frustrated. "I don't care! I wish I would, but hell, I can't help that I don't. " "You are Kurt Hummel!" Sebastian sounded angry as well. "You're a star. Don't give up on you, damn!" Kurt's lower lip trembled as it became harder and harder to suppress his tears. "Why do you even care? You never seemed to have a heart at all." Sebastian sighed and looked down at his hands. As he met Kurt's eyes again eventually, he smiled sadly. "Those who are heartless, once cared too much." Kurt thought about this answer for a moment, but his mind kept zoning out. "I'm tired," he mumbled, looking at Sebastian. "I know. That's the drug. Sleep a while, you're safe here. I promise." Kurt nodded, already half asleep. "Could you...I don't know. Stay?" He hated himself for asking that, but Sebastian made an agreeing noise. "Don't worry, Kurt. I'll be right there if you need me."

* * *

_Ice blue eyes. Light blonde hair. Hands, hands that were touching him. He screamed, tried to break free, but the hands seemed to be everywhere. God, was the person even human? No one could have so many hands, and why should anyone try to hurt him like that? Why..._ "Kurt! Come on, wake up!" "What?" Kurt opened his eyes and looked around confused. "What happened?" "You had a nightmare, but you're safe," Sebastian soothed the boy. "Go back to sleep." Kurt shook his had and sat up slowly, resting his back against the cold wall. "I don't think that I can." Sebastian tilted his head and thought for a moment. "Wait here, I get you something to eat." "I'm not hungry," Kurt protested, but Sebastian was already on his way to the door. "Doesn't matter. You'll feel better when you got something in your stomach, believe me. I've been there." "When?" Sebastian hesitated. "Look... I'll tell you when I'm back and you actually ate a bit, deal?" "Deal!" Kurt agreed.

"I'll be right back in a minute!" It really didn't take much longer for Sebastian to return. He held a bowl with soup in his hands. When had he prepared this? He must have been cooking while Kurt was asleep. "Eat!" Sebastian instructed as he handed the bowl over to Kurt. As the brunette took the first spoon, he climbed onto the bed as well and sat besides Kurt. For a few minutes, the room was filled with silence. "So... do you want to tell me what happened?" Kurt asked after he finished the soup. Sebastian had been right, the warm soup made him feel much better... it made him finally feel alive, actually. "You must promise that you won't talk to anybody about this. And... you have to listen carefully. I don't want you to make the same mistakes as I did." Sebastian's eyes seemed to be very old all of a sudden. Without thinking, Kurt slit a few inches closer to the boy. "I promise. But you scare me when you talk like that." "I'm sorry. I never told anyone before, actually. I... I don't know if I can." "Don't bottle things up, Bas!" Kurt flinched as he used a nickname for the boy he was supposed to hate. But everything that happened this day made him think that he was wrong judging Sebastian. He seemed to be a completely different boy as he'd thought. "You were there for me today. Now let me return the favor." "The broken ones have to stick together, hu?" Sebastian smiled, but his voice was bitter, and he carefully reached out for Kurt's hand. Kurt intertwined their fingers softly. "Exactly." He laid his head back and waited for Sebastian to start talking.

* * *

**TBC** **This is my first try of a Kurtbastian story, I hope you like it! I can't fight the feeling that I made Bas to nice, but as he said to Kurt, helping him was more serious than the stupid fights in the Lima Bean! ;)** **Let me know what you think, people! Interested in the second chapter?**


End file.
